why didn't you poke me back
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You can't just leave with hair like that
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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