If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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