I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
