Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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