Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The power of my boobs compel you
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
