Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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