you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
