So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Actions speak louder than pants.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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