We're like a lot better than the average bears
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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