I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
