so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Your penis caused this!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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