Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
