Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
