So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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