after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
