somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sober January is a disaster.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
