She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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