You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
