My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
