They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
