ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
