in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
