You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
A+ Viking dick
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
