Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
