the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
