It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
