so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
