Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
