I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
