dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
