at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
