The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
