What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
