I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
