I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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