why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
