Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
