Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
