Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
