I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we're chasing vodka with high fives
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
