Did you just see the Batmobile???
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
