Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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