If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
