Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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