how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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