Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's rum buckets o'clock
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
