When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
