The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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