God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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