He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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