YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
smell my finger.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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