I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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