dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
foreskin is a definite game changer
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
