just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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